Manager vs Leader: Why the Difference Matters More Than You Think
A Real Journey of Transformation : From Status Updates to True Leadership
The Conversation That Changed Everything
"How are you doing? Really doing?" I looked up from my laptop, surprised. It was our weekly one-on-one, and I'd prepared my usual status update: tasks completed, blockers identified, next week's priorities. But my manager wasn't opening his notebook or checking his calendar. He was just... waiting.
"What's on your mind?" he continued. "What direction excites you in your career?"
That conversation marked the beginning of my transformation from someone who managed work to someone who could lead people. Over 17 years in various roles, but especially in the last 8, I've learned that manager and leader aren't just different job titles—they're completely different ways of showing up.
A Note from the Author: I really enjoyed crafting this story from start to finish! After I completed the writing, I used ChatGPT to help polish the grammar and make it even easier to read, all while keeping my original thoughts intact.
The Difference That Matters
Here's what I've observed after working under both managers and leaders:
Managers focus on:
Tasks and deliverables
Status updates and timelines
Compliance and process
What needs to be done
Control and oversight
Leaders focus on:
People and their growth
Purpose and meaning
Development and potential
Why it matters
Trust and empowerment
The manager asks: "Is it done?" The leader asks: "How can I help you succeed?"
Three Leaders Who Shaped My Journey
My transformation didn't happen overnight. It came through working with exceptional people who modeled what leadership actually looks like:
Paul Banoub laid the foundation through his "House View of Leadership" sessions and genuine investment in people. He was a great mentor and an even better listener. Every one-on-one felt like he had all the time in the world for whatever was on my mind. His belief in leadership training showed me that developing others wasn't optional—it was essential.
Michael Bharwani has been my guiding presence for three years. He's been consistent with feedback, generous with encouragement, and sharp in identifying improvement areas. What sets him apart is his accessibility—he's still someone I turn to today, long after our direct reporting relationship ended.
Kevin Ruscoe helped me discover strengths I didn't know I had in product thinking, process design, and stakeholder management. He was one of the first to believe I could do more than just deliver—that I could lead. He didn't just assign me work; he assigned me purpose.
Each of these leaders shared something crucial: they didn't just manage my output; they invested in my potential.
My Leadership Framework: CARE
Through observing these leaders and eventually leading teams myself, I developed what I call the CARE Framework:
Connect — Build real relationships beyond tasks and tickets. Know what motivates your people, what challenges them outside of work, what they aspire to become.
Align — Link people's individual goals to the larger purpose. Help them see how their work creates impact beyond just completing assignments.
Recognize — Celebrate effort, outcomes, and progress openly. Not just the big wins, but the daily improvements and growth moments that often go unnoticed.
Empower — Give ownership and create space for people to figure things out. Trust your team's judgment and provide support when they need it.
This isn't a checklist to complete—it's how I try to show up every day.
The Practical Shift
If you're a manager wanting to become a leader, here are the shifts that made the difference for me:
Listen more than you talk. Your team is constantly telling you what matters to them, what frustrates them, and what energizes them. Most of us just aren't tuned in.
Guide instead of just assigning. When you give someone a task, help them understand why it matters and how it connects to something bigger.
Make career growth a regular conversation. Don't wait for annual reviews. Ask about aspirations, create development opportunities, and advocate for your people.
Create visibility for your team. Let them present to leadership, lead important calls, and get recognition for their contributions.
Celebrate progress, not just outcomes. Recognition builds confidence, and confidence drives performance.
When Leadership Really Clicks
The shift became real for me when I started managing my own teams. Instead of focusing solely on deliverables, I began asking different questions: How is this person growing? What do they need from me? How can I help them succeed beyond this project?
The results spoke for themselves. Team engagement improved, people stayed longer, and surprisingly, our actual delivery got better too. When people feel invested in, they invest back.
Resources That Helped My Journey
These books gave me language for what I was experiencing and frameworks for what I was trying to become:
"Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek — Showed me how empathy builds safety and trust in teams
"The 5 Levels of Leadership" by John Maxwell — Helped me view leadership as a journey of influence, not just authority
"The Making of a Manager" by Julie Zhuo — A refreshingly honest take on modern leadership challenges
The Truth About Leadership
Here's what I've learned: Leadership doesn't begin with a promotion or a title. It begins with intention. It starts when you decide that your success is measured not just by what you accomplish, but by how you help others accomplish things they didn't think were possible.
If you're a manager today, pause and ask yourself: Am I managing work, or am I leading people?
The answer lies in how you show up. Do you see your role as getting tasks completed, or developing the humans who complete those tasks?
Start with one real conversation. Start with believing someone on your team can do more than they think they can, and then tell them so.
Leadership isn't about perfection. It's about getting better. It's not about having all the answers. It's about asking better questions.
Let's not just manage projects and processes. Let's lead people. And in the process, let's lead ourselves toward the kind of leaders we wish we'd had when we were starting out.
What's one shift you could make today to move from managing tasks to leading people? Sometimes the most powerful leadership development happens one conversation at a time.